Mean Moms

Someone on the Ubasics list posted this blurb that was circulating and being celebrated on a local list of hers. I re-wrote it from my own perspective and wanted to share it here as well...

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it." I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO, when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
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Just for kicks, I wanted to write this out as it would look for me....

Someday, when my children are older, I will tell them:

I loved you enough to care about where you were going, with whom, and what time you'd be home and to help you get there, have fun, and come home.

I loved you enough to be silent when you needed me to be silent and to be there when you needed to talk, to give you the space to discover for yourself who your true friends were and to help you pick up the pieces when you were hurt.

I loved you enough to help you pay for the bubble gum you wanted and to make things right when they felt wrong.

I loved you enough to stand by you for a lifetime, to be by your side for two hours while we cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes, but the conversation was too precious to lose.

You learned that I wasn't perfect as we shared our lives together.

I loved you enough to let you make choices even when the stakes were high and to help bear your burden whenever I could.

But most of all, I loved you enough to always help you get what you needed, to put our relationship first and to walk in your shoes instead of engaging in battles.

I'm glad you came to me, because in the end, you've helped me grow and become a better person, so I won, too, in this relationship.

And someday, when your children are old enough to understand the principles that guide this legacy of parenting, I hope you tell them how they helped you grow and become a better person.